A reflection on my journey through cancer

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10 years ago today, the 6th June 2008 I was diagnosed with breast cancer and my life changed forever.

Of that day, I remember that emotionless radiologist delivering the news and my numbness, the inability of thinking straight and me looking into the void until mum brought me back to reality; we needed to act swiftly. Within 2 weeks I had already undergone surgery, was set on a course of 26 radiotherapy sessions and 5 years of HTR.

The initial shock was quickly put aside and an emergency mode in place. Life had already taught me that crying in these circumstances is not productive and as an antidote I started planning my next stage in life which included returning to London and accepting an offer to open a Law firm office in the City. The enthusiasm of returning home helped me overcome the first few months and allowed me not to think too much about the pain and the fears, which were conveniently pushed deep in a remote part of my mind. Back home, it took quite a few months for reality to hit.

Although, the oncologist warned me about the medication’s side effects, I was not prepared for the full impact and my health started deteriorating rapidly. Not only that, having to come to terms with the fact I was facing a life threating disease, those repressed emotions started to manifest in the form of depression, lack of energies and a constant debilitating back pain. My quality and social life were almost not existent and for the next couple of years all my energies were preserved to go work.

It was then, that a friend introduced me to the person, who became my healer, mentor and trusted friend. By only entering his therapy room I knew something had shifted, for the first time in years I felt at peace and I had found someone who understood what I was trying to say; my journey through quantum healing, kinesiology and craniosacral therapy had started.

Within 6 months my back was realigned and pain-free. Cleansing my system via nutrition and the introduction of food supplements helped to keep the medication’s side effects at bay. Yet, the real turning point was when I started to fully realise the impact that traumas can have on our health; one day I suddenly understood why I developed cancer. The whole impact of early traumas, which had never been addressed, came back with vengeance and my body was not able to cope any longer.

For the past 7 years I worked hard on my physical and mental health. Nutritional support has been added to my diet, more physical activity, meditation and regular healing sessions have worked wonders; even though the path has been not always easy and pain-free.

My self-esteem has increased, my anger has disappeared, and my energy level is unrecognisable. Still at times, like today, memories, pain, fears are present haunting me but I know, it is all part of that journey with no return.

Becoming a Kinesiologist was the result of this journey; it is my profession and my passion because I now know there is another way.

If you want to get in touch please email me at Barbara@equilibriumvitae.net

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